i am lost in all of the wreckage of oceanic air flight 815. stuck on a mysterious island, with limited food and water, danger lurking in every corner, and worst of all the other survivors are always in conflict! when will God save us? when will we be found? i hate being LOST!

i am lost in all the crazy and exciting storyline of lost. i declared the show as 'lame and just another survivor-show' when i first watch one of the episodes on tv. but hell, was i wrong. i got hooked right from the start, and will follow till the end of season 1, and then season 2 on tv soon. i love how the way the characters have little secrets of their own and flashbacks. what a show!

whenever there's talk about singapore: the people, the places, the food; i can't seem to help but perk up. it get's me all so excited.

yet despite living in kl for 11 years, and singapore for only 5 years, i remember more about the latter. and the reason? those were my growing years. the years of maturity.. and also because there were more colours and freedom in living in singapore. having bus rides to school early in the morning and then coming home late in the evening, a fun and learning school-life, going out with friends after school or with parents on weekends, watching interesting television and having community activities outside the house.
it's so unlike in kl where my father drives us to and fro from school, weekends is solely for family time, and where friends are people you meet only in school.

i was reading through wikipedia about singapore and it made me glad and proud in a way that i come from singapore. well, people and even singaporeans may complain about the strict laws and the 'nanny' ways of the government. but SCREW them.
it's because of the quick wit and insights of the goverment that have enabled them to mould and transform singapore with the help of us, the people, into the top-notch, well-known, safe, clean and prosperous city-state that it is today. imagine, without land and resources, we would have been doomed from the start.
now we have world-class airports, sea ports, transport systems; adequate and cosy HDB flats to give us a roof over our heads; famous landmarks; a proud heritage, culture and tradition; a flourishing economy; good education; a stable life; etc etc. what more can you ask for but just thank god?

so i say to singaporeans, if you think singapore sucks, you should pack your bags and take your sorry little a-- to somewhere else where you think is so great. be grateful. as the chinese saying goes, remember the source where you drink your water from.

PS pardon my agressiveness.

we watched lagaan, which is an indian film based upon colonial times. under the british rule, indian villagers had to pay tribute to their so-called masters by giving 'lagaan' every year. 'lagaan' is like taxes, in the form of crops, which to the villagers means their livelihood. they face starvation after they had to pay double 'lagaan'. a deal was struck where they had to beat their masters in a game of cricket. quite a good show; it got me sitting on the edge. and expect the usual indian singing and dancing scenes, though minimal in this film.

in the show, the western actors actually spoke sentences of hindi! but wait a moment, i thought to myself why do we find this fascinating when indians speak english too besides hindi or tamil. same applies to chinese, french, russians, anyone who speaks their native tongue and english. and wait, i left out the many different dialects, sub-languages, slangs..
if that's the case, shouldn't we be proud and be amazed by ourselves for speaking multiple languages? yet, we look in admiration at westerners who can speak japanese or malay. why is this so? besides the fact that the western world are sort of the supreme rich and powerful because of their early development, i see that we are equally capable if not more.

i remember having this phone conversation with my mum, and she was ticking me off for my self-consciousness in canada. she mentioned that we know more of them then they know of our tradition, heritage, culture, sports, food, language; what's there to be afraid? and so boosted my confidence.

the world is just being overly westernised. so much that we overrate them when they venture into something different, when we actually have already done that.

from mel's post, she talked about having roti prata at thomson and crossing an overhead bridge there. it came to me at once: my family and i having roti prata on a weekend morning in one of the shophouses that line the main road in thomson; and then right to the another image of the bridge outside thomson plaza.

again, it automatically triggered the memory of the overhead bridge at my grandma's place in toa payoh where it crosses the expressway. and when you walk across it you can feel the bridge beneath rattling as the cars zoom past by underneath.

like a chain, a memory can take me across the bridge to another treasured one..

"Be My Escape" - Relient K

I've given up on giving up slowly
I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention
Is my one last shot at redemption
Because I know to live you must give your life away

And I've been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
I've been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though there's no way in knowing
Where to go, promise I'm going because
I gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you
I'm begging you to be my escape

I'm giving up on doing this alone now
'Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there
And this life sentence that I'm serving
I admit that I'm every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

'Cause I've been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
I've been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though there's no way in knowing
Where to go, promise I'm going because
I gotta get outta here
'Cause I'm afraid that this complacency
Is something I can't shake
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you
I'm begging you to be my escape

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I've made
And all I'm asking is for you to do
What you can with me
But I can't ask you to give
What you already gave

'Cause I've been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
I've been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though there's no way in knowing
Where to go, promise I'm going because
I've gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I've gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you
I'm begging you to be my escape

i was at the library yesterday searching for pamy's recommendation of jodi picoult's my sister's keeper. i didn't manage to find it, but i stumbled across another of jodi picoult's treasure, plain truth.
it's about an Amish (Protestant people who seek to maintain the simple way of life based on the Bible) girl being charged with murder of her newborn, whom she denied having or killing him despite the medical proof that she was pregnant. and so, an unwilling attorney takes on the job to defend the unwilling girl, and learns more about her client and herself as the real truth begins to unravel. duty, faith, love, humility, truth and tradition. definitely a double-thumbs-up!

and now i'm not able to keep my eyes and hands of the novel. i'm close to the end. as always i read through books fast, and then will regret later for not taking my time to taking it in slowly.
i suppose the plain truth of reading is to really feel and understand. check out new words in the dictionary. imagine the scenes of each detail. ah, so now i know why my reading is an error..

my fervent love for the sounds of the corrs have emerged again! their new home album is coming out next month and it's of traditional irish songs..

cover art of home from corrsonline.com
but for now, titles like would you be happier, so young, runaway, breathless, radio, what can i do, i never loved you anyway, irresistable, only when i sleep, all the love in the world, give me a reason, and dreams are in my playlist. (:

the cold is back. this is a sign of autumn approaching. what's missing is just the orange-red leaves on the almost barren trees and scattered across the walkway. and as you step over the pile of leaves, you hear soft cracking sounds beneath your snickers.
i shiver. but in these few nights, i snuggle under the warmth of my quilt in bed. and slowly i fall into slumber.

PS corrinne may's songs soothes the soul.

happy birthday bro!
it's my unappreciative* brother's 19th birthday, and there's a good and bad thing this year: bad as he has to spend it with his summer final exams, and good because this year i'm here with him. (: blessings and take care!

* i successfully made lotus root soup today, but King Brother had to put me down. it was much tastier and alike to my mother's than the watercress soup last week. so kudos from me to me..

i'm grumpy, lazy and rotting at home.
where's my life?

the extreme weather i blogged about yesterday turned out to be mother nature's rage afterall.

news reported saying that besides the severe thunderstorm and heavy rain across toronto causing flash flooding in many areas, two tornadoes left a trail of destruction in southern ontario. on a fujita scale of F1-F5, the tornadoes were recorded as F2.

so who else is to blame but us human beings? what have we done to mother earth? the icebergs and permafrost on mountain sides are melting, glaciers are thining, water levels are rising. pollution rules everywhere: land, water, air. forests are diminishing, soil is eroding, arable land is morphing to deserts. global warming is worsening, the ozone layer is depleting.

God help us.

can God, if he/she really exists? we are responsible. so we are digging our own graves.

with the new season of the year, fall, coming september, new seasons of television shows are coming back! i hunted down the dates of all the season premieres of shows i watch, and here is the list for september:
15/9 survivor: guatemala
21/9 america's next top model 5
22/9 the apprentice 4
27/9 the amazing race 8

a sucker for reality-tv shows (like ME) is in deep trouble. plus the ninth month is also start-of-school month too!

PS there's a martha stewart edition of the apprentice starting 21/9. and the amazing race 8 is family edition! which means it's teams of 4 instead of the usual 2! cool.

rain and thunderstorms in toronto are very frightening. the sky rages on now. they are many bright flashes of light and rumbling sounds of thunder. rain continuously falls onto the ground. the view out is in a blur like being trapped in a thick fog, as water slides straight down the window panes. there is no mercy from the wind either, it's at full force.

this is the rage from above.

"Behind These Hazel Eyes" - Kelly Clarkson

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything it felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright for once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you I blame myself
Just seeing you it kills me now
No I don't cry
On the outside anymore

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

it's back to the '70s yet again, but this time with the movie, grease! it was on tv just now, and it brought back memories from back when i was young. we had the tape, and we kept on watching it over and over again.
the film, starring john travolta and olivia newton-john in their 20s, is the first musical movie i ever watched. and watching it again was pleasantly funny; seeing the hairdo, the fashion-sense, the singing and jive dancing.

it's making me sing with the tune in my head now.
"shake shake, shake your body.."

american idol is all about the voice. now from the same producers, so you think you can dance? is all about having the right moves. been watching for the past few weeks and now it's at the top 16 finalists. this is where they randomly pair up and select the dance style (hip-hop, lyrical, jazz, ballroom, tango, whatever you can think of). the judges then select 3 bottom pairs and they perform solo in their own style. the viewers vote and a male and female will be eliminated each time.
i kind of like it, seeing all the sleek and swift moves. the different dances and the little tricks where they throw, spin, slide, blah blah their partners.

i DON'T dance; besides that time at grad night last year. that's different. otherwise, i have no rhythm.

a stay-at-home person. i came to the sad realisation how hard it is doing grocery shopping, and having headaches stemming from having to plan meals. like what i'm going through right now. i'm being thrown into the spotlight as the caretaker as i'm having my holidays and my brother is having his summer finals.

there are meat and veggies in the fridge and i have to plan out the meals properly before they go bad. besides, in what new and different ways can i cook them in? i have to make sure they are good for the body (as what my parents say) and are tasty so to suit the tastbuds of King Brother. HRH complains if it isn't to his liking.

PS on the way to the supermart just now there was a dead pigeon with its guts spread out on the road. it must have been ran over by a car. i nearly puked.
PPS FYI, i went to the supermart to get meat for soup. i didn't know what kind to get and had to picture how it was like in the bowl of my mother's soup back home. and i finally got it: zhu guat (cantonese for pork bones).

i spent, and still am spending, the whole of today watching that 70s show once again. and i browsed the web for news about the show while waiting to connect to the video streaming. this is what i found out..
1) season 8 is starting this fall; around november 2.
2) topher grace (eric forman) and ashton kutcher (michael kelso) are leaving the show!
3) there will be a new regular joining the group.

and that's sad. because it means friends are leaving and there's a new addition. which means things are no longer the same. it will be hard to see the characters go.
flashback! this reminds me of me. i guess that's what it means by life goes on. ah, when the time comes it will..

and it will be painful and sad.

imagine: watching back-to-back episodes of that 70s show! hilarious all through. goofy and funny. this era really needs laughter and colour with such company. anyway i watched it so many times that i caught hold of the theme song. it goes like this:

hanging out
down the street
that same old thing
we did last week
nothing to do
but talk to you
we're all alright
we're all alright
i love wisconsin!


lol. crazy freak. but now i'm getting on the edge as i got disconnected from the video streaming. so i'm trying to wait as patiently as i can for it to start again.
COME ON, COME ON!!!

had such a filling lunch of indonesian nasi lemak. gado-gado (indonesian salad with peanut sauce), vegetable curry, ikan billis sambal, tauco (relish), crackers and rice- buffet style. yum. though it isn't singaporean or malaysian nasi lemak, being able to have some asian spicy dishes definitely whets up my appetite!

i helped made prawn crackers. they spread out from hard-like to the crispy form like a blooming flower, in fast motion, as soon as they are dipped in hot oil. so cool.

i watched episodes of family guy straight for hours today on the winamp video streaming. family guy is funny! i always laugh along with the weird griffin family. love this cartoon. i'm going back to the episodes! (:

"Wordplay" - Jason Mraz

I've been all around the world
I've been a new sensation
But it doesn't really matter
In this generation
The sophomore slump is an uphill battle
And someone said that ain't my scene
'Cause they need a new song
Like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the record label puts me
On the shelf up in the freezer
Got to find another way to live the life of leisure
So I drop my top, mix and I mingle
Is everybody ready for the single and it goes..

Ha la la la la
Now listen closely to the verse I lay
Ha la la la la
It's all about the wordplay
Ha la la la love
The wonderful thing it does
Because because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mr. A to Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay

When it's time to get ill I got your remedy
For those who don't remember me
Well let me introduce you to my style
I try to keep a jumble
And the lyrics never mumble
When the music's making people tongue-tied
You want a new song
Like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the people write me off like I'm a one-hit wonder
Gotta find another way to keep from going under
Pull out the stops
Got your attention
I guess it's time again for me to mention
The wordplay

Ha la la la la
Now listen closely to the verse I lay
Ha la la la la
It's all about the wordplay
Ha la la la love
The wonderful thing it does
Because because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mr. A to Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay

I built a bridge across the stream my consciousness
It always seems to be a flowing
But I don't know which way my brain is going
Oh the ryhming and the timing
Keeps the melodies inside me
And they're coming
Till I'm running out of air
Are you prepared to take a dive
Into the deep end of my head
Are you listening to a single word I've said

Ha la la la la
Listen closely to the words I say
Ha la la la la
I'm sticking to the wordplay
Ha la la la love
The wonderful thing it does
Because because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mr. A to Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay

Ha la la la la
I'm all about the wordplay
Ha la la la la
Sticking with the wordplay
Ha la la la love
I love the wonderful thing it does
Because because
The ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's fall back in love
For the Mr. A to Z they say
Is all about the wordplay

blah the live webcast of the national day parade turned out bad; squeaky sounds and interrupted graphics. it got to the point where it was boring and anti-climatic. and worst still, halfway through it all, the modem for our internet connection just stopped functioning, and we lost our access to the web. so we had to bother our housemate in order to fix it.

oh well, leaving the house for some time-wastage..

happy national day singapore!

Mari kita rakyat Singapura
Sama-sama menuju bahagia
Cita-cita kita yang mulia
Berjaya Singapura
Marilah kita bersatu
Dengan semangat yang baru
Semua kita berseru
Majulah Singapura
Majulah Singapura

my first national day spent in canada, but oh well there will be more. i'm wide awake in this wee hours of the early morning and the sun has yet to rise, all eager to watch the parade at the padang through the webcast.
and as i'm waiting, i doodled this with my brother's tabletopia pen-tablet thing:


i better go prepare the snacks. so happy birthday singapore, and karthi too! (:


EDITED
it's 5.30am my time now, and the LIVE telecast of the parade is starting now! yippy!

i went shopping just now, and now i feel like i tripped.

i first set myself out for shopping without caring about price. and i succeeded. spent quite an amount which now fills me with guilt. but i'm going to cut down on expenses for the next few weeks, and once school starts there will be less things and time for me to splurge.

actually, i think my way of shopping is kind of better. shop and spend all at once, and then feel bad which will then restrict further spending. unlike shopping for little items over a period of time, but upon adding up the amount, it will equal the amount. it will be hard to feel guilty then, which won't stop you from spending on.

reasoning is my only way to set my heart a little at ease.

i have always wanted to read mark haddon's the curious incident of the dog in the night-time, mainly because of these reasons:

1) the book cover is attractive: simple words with an overturned poodle-dog showing it to be dead.

2) i don't know of any other books that is about investigating the murder of a dog.


and now after reading the novel, i have these additional reasons why it was worth reading:

1) the author wrote it from the perspective of fifteen-year old christopher who has a condition whereby he has difficulties interprating the world, relationships and reaction to things around him, making it simple and heart-warming.

2) the detective work of christopher on who killed his neighbour's dog, wellington, leads to him uncovering truths that will change his world and a journey that to us is easy, but to him proves to be an obstacle.

3) i love it.

the drama torch has been passed down, and my sister is running forth with the torch! congrats! and to the rest of the committee too.. hope drama will grow and shine.

drama stands as one, always.

we went to a friend of my housemate's house whom she met through friendster as they are from the same part of indonesia. ate and chatted. watched many parts of shutter, the thai horror flick, through my fingers, as the show was unexpectingly shocking.

well, we later drove to dinner. for one thing that got me worried was that the car's petrol tank was close to empty. imagine the car stalling in the middle of the road. also we were going so slowly, that many other cars overtook us and stared as they zoomed past. it got me uneasy thinking people may hurl vulgarities or finger us. but erm, slow is safe okay..

and to think i would be cut off from life in singapore. not anymore! me and my brother found out we will be able to watch the live telecast of this year's national day parade via webcast on the ndp website. so hooray, for life won't be miserable on august 9th!

looks like monday night would be a long long one as we stay awake through to tuesday's break of dawn.

last night in bed i got hungry and started thinking of local delights back in singapore and kl. laksa, char kway teow, fishball noodles, nasi lemak, hokkien prawn mee, ban mian, vegetarian noodles, fried carrot cake, chicken rice, braised duck rice, bak kut teh- ohh how i can go on and on.. thinking about those foods only made sleeping even harder for me.

the craving is real bad.

it started raining so damn heavily just now at around 4.10pm. the wind howled, and blowed the raindrops so much that it looked like the rain was close to falling horizontally. the raindrops were so large and heavy that the pitter-patter on the windows sounded like small stones hitting the glass, and for a moment i thought it was hailstones falling on toronto.





i settled myself to watch the oprah show on tv, and at around 4.40pm there was a 'breaking news' bulletin: a plane had skidded off the runway at toronto's pearson airport after being hit by lightning. i was shocked. apparently, the bad weather had made the A340 airbus plane of air france coming from paris to toronto to make an emergency landing after it had been struck. it ended out of the runway burning and in a rising tower of smoke. the accident put pearson airport to a standstill, and caused congestion at the 401 highway which was right next to the crash site since it was rush-hour.









and now this is what the sky looks like:





what the hell? anyway there are people who managed to escape, but the number of casualties have not been mentioned. prayers for them..


EDITED
it's nearly 3 hours since the bad weather and the sun is shining soooo brightly now. as though it is in the afternoon. the weather here is utterly madness!
found out that all 309 people on board the airplane survived. bless them.

"Fly Away" - Corrinne May

When will you be home, she asks
As we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer
To where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as I crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
And yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart
To know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time
And silver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
We need you, please come back
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart
To know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

i am in a daze after coming to the concluding chapter of the da vinci code by dan brown. indeed, one of the best books i ever read. i always had a liking for philosophical books, and this definitely gave deep insights, thought-provoking knowledge.
somehow, i felt like i 'killed' the novel by gobbling the whole book down in a matter of 2 days, instead of slowly savouring it. i spent hours and hours through the night till 4am with my eyes fixed on the pages under the glow of the light in my room. nevertheless, i took great joy in finally getting to read the novel. did i mention that thousands who are on the waiting-list just to get their hands on this book from the public library in toronto?

religion was a main focus of the novel. christianity and the search for the holy grail. i have heard of many related to christianity: the holy grail, the last supper; but never had i thought there would be so much details to it. how the arts and music have a role in religion too, whether is it orthodox or unorthodox ones that had been defamed by the stronger religion.
after reading the novel, i do have a feeling that we may have been hoodwinked by religion. how it may have been fabricated and spun into webs of unknowing deceit that we may never know. but it is true that the faith in the religion has turned humanity for the better like in filial piety, compassion, faithfulness; or for the worst like in poor souls who terrorize others in the name of religion and the so-called god over righteousness, fairness and liberation. so much for religion that may not truly exist.
however, even if religion may just all be a scam, a story that progressed into a belief of truth, the important thing is that it gave people something to place their faith in. and perhaps that is religion: to believe.

and so, the mystery has been cracked. but sometimes not knowing the truth is for the better of all.